Last Tuesday evening I was at GYC, teaching dance again, but this time we had some other activities so the kids weren't all focused on the dance part. We had some kids come and go as the got bored, but this one little girl stayed the whole time. Even when the others were talking really loud in the back of the room, or when I was distracted by trying to get them involved, she stayed very attentive and she practiced the last move I'd taught until my attention was back to teaching this dance. She was eager to learn the dance and she didn't want to stop when it was time to go have our hot chocolate and God slot at the end. She is a very sweet little girl with big brown eyes that are always looking to learn. She is the kind of student that is a joy to teach and not a challenge.
On Thursday at TYC, we went to the park to enjoy the great weather. It was about 70 degrees and sunny here and that is a real treat when you live in Wales. Some of the kids went off to play Rounders with some of the leaders, but I stayed behind to mind the snacks we'd brought along and chat with the few who didn't want to run around. With last week being half term when we don't have club, it was good to get a chance to talk with these girls again. They still aren't trusting enough to open up to me about life and or answering anything deeper than "How were your exams?" but it's the shallow talks that can then earn their trust. I'm only sad that I won't be around for much longer.
On my bike ride home, I passed this woman standing on the sidewalk right beside a busy road. I noticed she wasn't crossing at the clear opportunities, so I stopped and asked if she was alright. I was surprised by the look in her eyes when she turned to me. She looked as if she was dead inside. Like there was no interest in the things around her and she wasn't wondering why someone was asking if she was okay. She looked at me with those nearly lifeless eyes and said in a monotone voice, "Yeah." I asked, "Are you sure you're alright?" She gave the same dull "yeah" in reply. I left her standing there, and as I cycled away I remember people telling me that that area is known for having hookers stand around, waiting for their next customer. She didn't look like I've imagined a hooker to look like; no fishnet tights or slutty clothes. She was wearing a matching light blue jogging outfit. I don't know if this is her story or not, but the near-dead look in her eyes reminded me of the area that I've come to work in. She reminded me of how hopeless much of these people are. They don't hope for a better day; they just try to survive the days they're in.
It broke my heart to see this woman standing on the side of the road, looking like she's not even truly alive. I know that she's got a hole in her heart. Most people have holes in their hearts. Some try to fill it with sex or money, some with food, some with tv or their favorite video game or sport. But we all have a hole that we feel the need to fill. There's always that something that we can never quite get to to be happy. We were all made with this hole, but only those who've found Jesus know that He is the only thing that can fill it. We were all made with this hole, with this ever-present need. Jesus is the only One who can fill that need. He is the only one who can bring true contentment and joy; and He can bring them in such a way that they are not dependent on your circumstances. Life doesn't have to be perfect before you can feel His joy.
Seeing this woman was a reminder of why I've come here. She was a reminder that it's not just about having fun with these kids or creating the best event. It's about sharing our true hope with the hopeless. It doesn't matter if I'm across the ocean in the capital city of Wales, or in any small town in back home, there are always people who are looking for something to fill this hole in their hearts. They are looking for a true hope. AND WE KNOW WHO IT IS!!! What does it take for us to share this hope?
God's been teaching me in the last few days to not be afraid of looking different or like a fool. He said to expect it! People are always going to think you're a bit weird, so why not just expect these strange looks and start being bold for Jesus. If He can face death for our sakes, surely facing some strange looks isn't the worst thing in the world. Share Jesus. Share this hope.
I'm not entirely sure of how I'm going to live this boldness out, but I know that Jesus will be with me to show me the way. I just pray for courage to expect to stand out.
Please pray for the community of Tremorfa. Pray that God's hope would become so evident in this place that people will be coming in saying "I want what they have". Pray that people would open up their hearts for Jesus to come in and fill this void. Thank you for all of your prayers.
Also, MY SISTER IS COMING IN 1 WEEK! Please pray that all of the legal things and finances come through in time. Thank you.
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