You know how when somebody lets you down, you might have a hard time trusting them again? Or you'll refrain from liking them as much as you did before. Maybe it's just me, but that's how my mind works.
Unfortunately, I was letting my mind go to areas like that, reconsidering friendships because of a let down. Although I know it was an innocent misunderstanding, I was letting myself be hurt more by this than it should have. I was causing myself more misery by dwelling on this mistake, rather than moving on. I know this is quite negative, but to be honest, I'm not a positive person naturally. I have to really work at being positive when I'm by myself.
So I was in worship at church yesterday, when I heard God whisper "I love you". Now, I know that God loves me. That's an automatic in my mind. It's always there. But sometimes it's good to be reminded. God reminded me that His love is unconditional. That even when I mess up or do something that I know He doesn't like, He still loves me. I had to pause to soak that in. Sometimes we just brush past the unconditional love, not actually taking the time to try and fathom what that means.
It made me realize how fickle my love and friendship is if I was going to let a small mistake, a mess up, get in the way of what can be a great friendship. I had to think over what the word "unconditional" actually means. Even though I say that "we are to love everybody, because God is Love and He lives in us", I still put conditions on it. If I feel let down or hurt by somebody, I let my feelings dictate my love for them. But that's not real love.
"Love is kind and patient,
never jealous, boastful,
proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish
or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
of wrongs that others do.
Love rejoices in the truth,
but not in evil.
Love is always supportive,
loyal, hopeful,
and trusting.
Love never fails!" ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8
This is the example of the true love that God shows us. This is real love. I've got to admit that I've not shown love in all of these ways. But God does. His love is unconditional. No matter what, His love will never fail us. Even when we do things that let Him down, He might be sad that we've done it, but He will never love us less.
So as God pointed out His love for me that Sunday, He also reminded me of this bitterness I was keeping towards these friends. It was a gentle nudge to forgive and let go of anything that was keeping me from loving them with the same love that our Heavenly Father has for us. I know I can't love anywhere near as much to the capacity of God, but that doesn't mean I can't try to love unconditionally. That's what God's been teaching me in the last day or so.
Some things to pray for over here are that there are a lot of changes for Ignite in the coming months. It will be merging with another ministry called The Message Trust in September, so there are a lot of things coming up that could use prayer. There's a local church that will need to decide in the next few weeks if it will join us in ministering to the people of the community and be willing to be actively involved with it. Also, Ignite has been planning to send out young people on a mission trip in west Wales, but we've not had the response we were hoping for. We need people to sign up to go on this trip in the next few weeks or we will need to decide if we will be doing it at all. So please pray about that people sign up.
And one more thing: my sister has been planning to come over here for a visit and some ministry things as well, but is having issues with her passport/visa. These things need to be sorted out in the next two weeks, so please pray that she is able to come on time and that this hiccup won't keep her from coming.
Thank you so much for your prayers.
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