A Spiritual Debate with a 60 Something, Muslim Philosopher

The other day I was in Cardiff city centre waiting for a friend who I knew would come in about an hour. With the coffee shops and stores beginning to close, I wandered around looking for something to do. I found myself in the library looking for anything interesting when I heard over the loudspeaker that the library was about to close as well. As I made my way to the door, I was walking beside an older gentleman who was also on his way out. 

I'm not exactly sure how the conversation got started, but it was probably along the lines of him asking if I was a student (a question I get asked often when people see me toting my giant backpack). I told him that no, I'm not a student, I'm an intern. He asked if I would get a career out of this internship and I told him that no, once my visa expires I have to flee the country *wink*. He asked what I was interning for and I told him I was in youth ministry. You could see the mental walls go up as he confirmed what he'd heard "Ah, you're into religion."

We had gotten onto different subjects, such as his studies on philosophy, science, and human nature. When he tired of talking about himself, he asked me if I would go to school or university and I told him that I wasn't planning on it unless God leads me there. He stopped and looked at me saying that if I want to live I have to get a good education and career to have money! I told him that "Ah, but that's the world's thinking! I'm living by Kingdom thinking and I know that God will take care of all of my needs when I live in obedience to Him."

Now this guy looked middle eastern and was very likely to be muslim, so I couldn't believe I had so blatantly stated my absolute trust in God and Kingdom thinking to this man who could potentially get very offended. He was taken aback that I would put my future and everything in the hands of a God that he didn't really believes exists.

He told me that he was a practicing muslim to honour his mother's dying wish, but in actuality he is an atheist. He said that his religion is simply a social thing for him.

He tried to convince me that everyone can have their beliefs but that shouldn't dictate how you live your life. That you still need to make plans for how to make a living and have a career. He went on to say that he thinks that religion is a form of slavery. That it tells you what to do and how to live. He gave me an example of what a life without God or religion would look like, how you can do what you want, make your own life choices and get to do anything without having to consult with this "being in the sky". Independence! He asked what I thought of that. I replied that it sounded lonesome. I told him that being with God isn't a form of slavery, but rather a caring relationship.

I gave him the example of a child/parent relationship. The parent is there to care for and nurture the child. Any rules the parent gives is usually in the child's best interest, even when the child doesn't see it that way. I asked my new friend if he would consider this slavery or son-ship? His response was that a child will then grow up and be able to take care of themselves. I agreed, but retorted that we will never grow up to have the same knowledge and wisdom of God. To Him, we are all like children. He wants to take care of us like a loving Father, if we let Him.

My friend still wasn't finished with his religion=slavery argument. He said that while God might want to take care of us, we still have to work to get in His favour; that I'm giving my life for God's service to get to Heaven. I told him that actually, I do this out of choice. I told him that I know that if I were to die right here right now I would go to Heaven, not because of what I did, but because of what Christ did for me and because I have accepted Christ's sacrifice. My friend was stunned! He couldn't believe that I could have that kind of confidence that I will go to Heaven, whether I work for God or not!

He tried to bend my words to say that I'm working over here because the more people I convert the better God will like me. I told him that I do this entirely out of love for my God and for the people I try to help. I told him that God loves everybody unconditionally and God wants everyone to go to Heaven. He said that nobody loves everybody like that and nobody can love anybody unconditionally. I brought up the example of the parent/child relationship again. I reminded him that a parent will love a child, no matter what they do; even if they don't condone what their child does, they will still love them. My friend agreed with me. He said he knows that a mother will fight for her child even if she knows he's guilty.

He had to pause for a bit to put together a new argument. He then asked "What about the muslims and the hindus and budists, etc. etc. etc. You can't say there's just one God." I told him that I'm not one of those politically correct people who says that everyone can believe what they want and be fine. I told him that I believe the truth is the truth whether you believe it or not and I've seen enough proof of my God to know whom I serve. I've seen God do miraculous things that no scientist or person of the world would believe possible.

My friend was shocked yet again. He argued that God can't be measured or proved. He started rambling about how you can't prove something that has no substance. I interrupted to ask if I could tell him a story: there are two babies in the womb. One says to the other, "Do you think there's life outside of this?" the other replies, "No. This is all there's ever been. Have you seen anything different than what you've seen here?" 

I told my friend that you don't know what you don't know. If you don't know what you're missing, then you don't know to look for it. 

The hour of waiting was up and the friend I had been meeting walked up to us. I introduced my two friends, then bid farewell to the newest one. As he said goodbye, he asked that I keep my mind more open to other possibilities. I replied that he should do the same. He still looked concerned for me, like he was afraid that I'll throw my life away working for a God that he cannot prove. He thought I was a kid with pie in the sky chances of succeeding. But I don't mind. From this worldly perspective, I may not be the most successful, but from God's perspective, obedience is what success looks like. I know that my God will take care of me. I've seen Him provide in ways I never would have thought of. 

None of our conversation was harsh or said unkindly. It was all very sensible. This man was willing to listen to my arguments, just as much as I listened to his. This man is truly after knowledge and truth, he's just been searching for truth from a purely scientific and atheistic perspective.

I don't know what's happened in this man's heart since our conversation, but I do know that God was doing something in Him. This is what my church family calls a "Divine Appointment". This was a "chance" meeting, set up by God to open my friend's mind up to the possibility of a loving and caring God. I pray that the seed that's been planted will spring up and help this gentleman come to realize who God really is, with or without scientific proof.

The Beginning of the End

This last week was our last meeting at GCY. We had a couple of group games and pizza and cakes. It was fun when everyone joined in.

Unfortunately towards the end, a bunch of the kids thought it would be a good idea to go up to the "forbidden" balcony. The reason nobody's allowed up there is because it is a very very old church balcony and the steps up there are shallow and the railing isn't very high and it's just overall not the safest place to be. But of course, the kids wanted to play a game of "catch me" up there... and these were the 15 year olds! Then the younger ones caught on to how fun the game looked and they wanted to join as well. There were 3 ways to get up there, so there wasn't really a good way to block all the ways at once, so we ended up just telling them to be extremely careful and to come down. But to these kids, words aren't worth much. So yelling at them and telling them to be careful had little effect. After a while, I knew words weren't doing any good, so I just stopped trying to get them down. I knew it was becoming more like a challenge than a warning.

Thankfully, we had no injuries, despite the rampant behavior. I found it frustrating though, that my last time with most of these kids ended with people yelling at each other and trying to stop the kids from walking out of the church with things belonging to the church. A few of the kids heard that this would be my last time with them and they came up to give me a goodbye hug, but most just left with friends. I was handed a card before I left that I read when I got home. It was signed by the other volunteers and some of the kids, some of whom I was frustrated with earlier. Reading the kids' notes, I could see that even though they like to push buttons, they still liked having me there, which I find comforting. It's good to know that not all my effort has been in vain.

On Friday, I taught dance at the local Girls' Brigade meeting. I taught a cutesy little ballet piece to the 5-8 year-olds and a hip hop number to the older girls (courtesy of a friend, whose choreography I used *with permission*). Some of the girls got really into it and they wanted your full attention the entire class, while others wanted to just fade away into the background. I did what I could with the time I had, but what I really got out of it was that some of the girls in the older group were really into dance and they wanted to do more. So hopefully, if I do any more dance stuff in the future, I can invite these girls to come and learn more.

I did receive some sad news this week: my sister wasn't able to fly in today because of passport issues. Please pray that all of that stuff is worked out in time for her to come on Saturday with a group from my home church.

Please join me in praying for these kids in the GYC who have yet to understand the Father's love for them. I may not see them again on earth, but I'm praying that I will see them in eternity. Pray that these avid atheists would come to see the Light.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17

A Hole In Your Heart

This week was very interesting. I've had loads of good things happen that kept my days full, and I've seen some sad things. 

Last Tuesday evening I was at GYC, teaching dance again, but this time we had some other activities so the kids weren't all focused on the dance part. We had some kids come and go as the got bored, but this one little girl stayed the whole time. Even when the others were talking really loud in the back of the room, or when I was distracted by trying to get them involved, she stayed very attentive and she practiced the last move I'd taught until my attention was back to teaching this dance. She was eager to learn the dance and she didn't want to stop when it was time to go have our hot chocolate and God slot at the end. She is a very sweet little girl with big brown eyes that  are always looking to learn. She is the kind of student that is a joy to teach and not a challenge.

On Thursday at TYC, we went to the park to enjoy the great weather. It was about 70 degrees and sunny here and that is a real treat when you live in Wales. Some of the kids went off to play Rounders with some of the leaders, but I stayed behind to mind the snacks we'd brought along and chat with the few who didn't want to run around. With last week being half term when we don't have club, it was good to get a chance to talk with these girls again. They still aren't trusting enough to open up to me about life and or answering anything deeper than "How were your exams?" but it's the shallow talks that can then earn their trust. I'm only sad that I won't be around for much longer.

On my bike ride home, I passed this woman standing on the sidewalk right beside a busy road. I noticed she wasn't crossing at the clear opportunities, so I stopped and asked if she was alright. I was surprised by the look in her eyes when she turned to me. She looked as if she was dead inside. Like there was no interest in the things around her and she wasn't wondering why someone was asking if she was okay. She looked at me with those nearly lifeless eyes and said in a monotone voice, "Yeah." I asked, "Are you sure you're alright?" She gave the same dull "yeah" in reply. I left her standing there, and as I cycled away I remember people telling me that that area is known for having hookers stand around, waiting for their next customer. She didn't look like I've imagined a hooker to look like; no fishnet tights or slutty clothes. She was wearing a matching light blue jogging outfit. I don't know if this is her story or not, but the near-dead look in her eyes reminded  me of the area that I've come to work in. She reminded me of how hopeless much of these people are. They don't hope for a better day; they just try to survive the days they're in.

It broke my heart to see this woman standing on the side of the road, looking like she's not even truly alive. I know that she's got a hole in her heart. Most people have holes in their hearts. Some try to fill it with sex or money, some with food, some with tv or their favorite video game or sport. But we all have a hole that we feel the need to fill. There's always that something that we can never quite get to to be happy. We were all made with this hole, but only those who've found Jesus know that He is the only thing that can fill it. We were all made with this hole, with this ever-present need. Jesus is the only One who can fill that need. He is the only one who can bring true contentment and joy; and He can bring them in such a way that they are not dependent on your circumstances. Life doesn't have to be perfect before you can feel His joy.

Seeing this woman was a reminder of why I've come here. She was a reminder that it's not just about having fun with these kids or creating the best event. It's about sharing our true hope with the hopeless. It doesn't matter if I'm across the ocean in the capital city of Wales, or in any small town in back home, there are always people who are looking for something to fill this hole in their hearts. They are looking for a true hope. AND WE KNOW WHO IT IS!!! What does it take for us to share this hope?

God's been teaching me in the last few days to not be afraid of looking different or like a fool. He said to expect it! People are always going to think you're a bit weird, so why not just expect these strange looks and start being bold for Jesus. If He can face death for our sakes, surely facing some strange looks isn't the worst thing in the world. Share Jesus. Share this hope. 

I'm not entirely sure of how I'm going to live this boldness out, but I know that Jesus will be with me to show me the way. I just pray for courage to expect to stand out.

Please pray for the community of Tremorfa. Pray that God's hope would become so evident in this place that people will be coming in saying "I want what they have". Pray that people would open up their hearts for Jesus to come in and fill this void. Thank you for all of your prayers.

Also, MY SISTER IS COMING IN 1 WEEK! Please pray that all of the legal things and finances come through in time. Thank you.

A Lesson on the Term "Unconditional"

You know how when somebody lets you down, you might have a hard time trusting them again? Or you'll refrain from liking them as much as you did before. Maybe it's just me, but that's how my mind works.

Unfortunately, I was letting my mind go to areas like that, reconsidering friendships because of a let down. Although I know it was an innocent misunderstanding, I was letting myself be hurt more by this than it should have. I was causing myself more misery by dwelling on this mistake, rather than moving on. I know this is quite negative, but to be honest, I'm not a positive person naturally. I have to really work at being positive when I'm by myself.

So I was in worship at church yesterday, when I heard God whisper "I love you". Now, I know that God loves me. That's an automatic in my mind. It's always there. But sometimes it's good to be reminded.  God reminded me that His love is unconditional. That even when I mess up or do something that I know He doesn't like, He still loves me. I had to pause to soak that in. Sometimes we just brush past the unconditional love, not actually taking the time to try and fathom what that means.

It made me realize how fickle my love and friendship is if I was going to let a small mistake, a mess up, get in the way of what can be a great friendship. I had to think over what the word "unconditional" actually means. Even though I say that "we are to love everybody, because God is Love and He lives in us", I still put conditions on it. If I feel let down or hurt by somebody, I let my feelings dictate my love for them. But that's not real love.

"Love is kind and patient,
never jealous, boastful,
    proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish
    or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
    of wrongs that others do.
Love rejoices in the truth,
    but not in evil.
Love is always supportive,
loyal, hopeful,
    and trusting.
Love never fails!"   ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This is the example of the true love that God shows us. This is real love. I've got to admit that I've not shown love in all of these ways. But God does. His love is unconditional. No matter what, His love will never fail us. Even when we do things that let Him down, He might be sad that we've done it, but He will never love us less.

So as God pointed out His love for me that Sunday, He also reminded me of this bitterness I was keeping towards these friends. It was a gentle nudge to forgive and let go of anything that was keeping me from loving them with the same love that our Heavenly Father has for us. I know I can't love anywhere near as much to the capacity of God, but that doesn't mean I can't try to love unconditionally. That's what God's been teaching me in the last day or so.

Some things to pray for over here are that there are a lot of changes for Ignite in the coming months. It will be merging with another ministry called The Message Trust in September, so there are a lot of things coming up that could use prayer. There's a local church that will need to decide in the next few weeks if it will join us in ministering to the people of the community and be willing to be actively involved with it. Also, Ignite has been planning to send out young people on a mission trip in west Wales, but we've not had the response we were hoping for. We need people to sign up to go on this trip in the next few weeks or we will need to decide if we will be doing it at all. So please pray about that people sign up.

And one more thing: my sister has been planning to come over here for a visit and some ministry things as well, but is having issues with her passport/visa. These things need to be sorted out in the next two weeks, so please pray that she is able to come on time and that this hiccup won't keep her from coming.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

A Lot of Absences And a Smelly Prankster

We've had small numbers coming into either club these last few weeks. I'm blaming it on the warm weather keeping them all outside. While I'm happy that they want to be out and about and not watching tv being couch potatoes, I'm sad that I've not seen many of  the kids in weeks. And what makes me even more sad is the fact that we only have a few weeks left of actually having clubs. When schools close for the summer, so do the clubs.

While I'd be all up for keeping the clubs open to occupy the kids in the summer months, not everyone is up for it. After all, they will be the ones who will come back and continue working after the break. I will be going home, and only God know's if and when I will return and see these kids again. 

Moving on to a less depressing subject: This past Tuesday the GYC went out to a nearby playground to enjoy the sunshine with the kiddos. Well, I say kiddos plural, but we only had one kiddo. This boy is one who hadn't been around in quite awhile and we learned that he had actually moved away and was only visiting this week. He was one who was known for getting into the most mischief; sneaking and hiding in the parts of the church where kids aren't allowed, or finding the loudest, squeakiest hinge in the building and making it as loud as he could until one of the leaders had to chase him away from it. He was always pushing boundaries and this has led to his expulsion once before in a club that pretty much never expels a child. He's a handful, but those kids are the most fun, right?

So we went to the playground, about 6 of us leaders and the one kid who showed up, and found some other kids playing there too. And later two of our regular girls came to the playground to find us so we had all of 3 kids from club! We played some combination of baseball and rounders and had players both from the club and the playground playing. After a while, the boys got very serious about the game, so once I was taken out, I stepped off the field to chat with the two girls who had shown up late. They both said that they were hoping to have another dance night! I was encouraged by that; that they had both had fun doing it. 

After the game, we went back to the church and invited the boys at the playground to join us for toast and hot chocolate and the Jesus talk. They all declined saying that they had to go home. I had seen a few parents watching their kids, and I know I wouldn't be comfortable letting my kids go off with strangers who promise them goodies, but I'm hoping that their parents will let them come later. 

We had our God talk, which involved a lot of chastising the kids to try and get them to listen for 5 minutes. It didn't work very well. I've never seen a group of people with a total lack of respect for each other and their leaders. It may just be that they aren't aware that the whole room can hear them when they whisper during the talk, but it's still very disrespectful.

And as a grand finale, the button pushing little boy thought it would be funny to spray a stink-bomb all the way through the church on his way out... That was fun. The whole place smelled like manure. Thankfully, I'm fairly used to the smell, having grown up driving past cornfields as the farmers were distributing the fertilizer. 

All in all it was a pretty good night that ended with a great big smelly bang and all the leaders shouting this boy's name as he ran out of the building. Gotta love kids. I've got to admit it was a pretty good prank.

Please pray that the kids continue to come in these last few weeks and that we would be able to have meaningful conversations with them. Pray that they will open up to God's message of enduring love. Thank you for praying.

An Evening of Dancing and Mummies

So we had an impromptu dance workshop at club last night. I was getting a lift from one of the leaders last night on the way to GYC when she mentioned that she just found out that I can dance. She then asked if I would do dance with our kids that night.

Ordinarily I would have felt hesitant and unprepared, but since I'd done the dance class in Tremorfa that dance was still in my mind, so I said yes. Then I realized that I was even more prepared than usual, because on that particular night I hadn't had a chance to run home and drop off my work stuff, so I had my laptop with my music and everything on it!

It went great! The kids were mostly getting into it and some of the other volunteers were getting involved as well, making everyone feel comfortable. We started out warming up with the Drive the Bus song/dance, which anyone from my home church can tell you is a boat load of fun and goofiness. It's a dance made entirely of the cheesiest dance moves out there. Things like the "Shopping cart" or "Sprinkler". It makes everyone look like a fool, but that's the best kind of fun: when everyone looks so silly that no one can criticize.

We went on to learn a dance to the song "Never Alone" by Barlowgirl. Some of the younger girls were very enthusiastic to learn these new moves, but their energy made them jump up and down while trying to do the moves, resulting in a bit of chaos. And some of the older girls were outright saying that they couldn't do it, but when I watched them attempt the moves, they did it either spot on or just a slight adjustment would make it spot on. 

 Later, during the God slot, we ran through the mummy game. We divided the kids into two teams and had the teams compete to make the best mummy by wrapping toilet paper around one of their teammates. 

It was good fun, and all in all it was a great night with a great message. 

At one point we separated into groups to talk and pray. And in this time one of the girls in my group went off explaining everything Christians believe about the Gospel. She said that Jesus died so that we can go to Heaven. I interrupted her at this point to say that even though Jesus paid the price for our sins, forgiveness and Heaven are gifts that need to be accepted to be of any good. I asked her and the other girl if they've accepted this gift yet. The girl, who was first explaining all about the Gospel, immediately said that she doesn't believe in God. She said that she's just interested in Religious studies. 

The other girl said that she's a Christian. She said that she's a Christian because she was christened as a baby. We tried to explain that that isn't what makes you a Christian, but accepting Christ for yourself is what makes you a Christian. I don't know if either girl understood the ultimate message.

Please pray that God would work in the hearts and lives of these kids. Pray for revival in their individual lives as well as in this nation. Thank you so much for your prayers. God is really doing something.

Plant the Seed and Wait

It's Sunday morning. We've just had a morning filled with worship music and a sermon taught on how you can plant a seed, but you have to wait for the harvest. The person up front spoke about a man who had prayed for 5 of his friends over many years, and after a few years 2 were saved, and then over a matter of 20 years, two of the others were saved. This man prayed for 50 years for this last friend to be saved, but then the man died, not knowing if his friend would ever be saved. Then a few months after the man's death, the 5th friend came to Christ. The moral being that it can take years of praying for someone to be saved, and sometimes, you may never find out if this loved one has come to Christ of not.

The church is packed. I'm sitting up near the top of the theater-like seats in the back of the church. I can see most of the congregation from my vantage point. At the end of his sermon, the man up front did an altar call. As I watch these people make their way to the front I started to get emotional. I'm watching the family of God grow before my eyes! I was so happy that we now have new brothers and sisters in Christ!

I spotted one of the people going forward and realized it was the boyfriend of a friend of mine. The girls in my small group had been praying for this guy to come to church and I know his girlfriend has been trying to get him to come for a while. I was so happy that this guy was going forward! He had no idea that all these people who he's never even met had been praying for his salvation. Those of us girls who had been praying started rejoicing from all over the sanctuary when we saw him step forward. God does answer prayers!

While I was crazy happy to see all these people come to Christ on this Sunday morning, I became sad as well, knowing that most of the kids that I work with in Tremorfa have not yet realized their need for Christ. As I thought on it more, I began to weep for these kids. I want so badly to be confident that I will see these kids in Heaven in the end, but at this point in time, all I can do is pray and wait for God to move. I will continue to do what I hear God telling me, but I know that no amount of talking about God can actually bring these kids to Him. Only God can change their hearts. I want so badly to have an altar call in Tremorfa where these kids come to give their lives to Christ.

That's when the message this man up front was giving started to really sink in. I know that I can pray for these kids, but I may never know if and when they come to Christ. I may never know if my work and effort to get God's message across will actually have an impact on these kids' lives. All I can do is pray, like the man in the story. 

Please join me in praying for salvation to come over these kids in Tremorfa. I want God to completely turn around this community and to bring His kingdom to earth. Even if I go to my grave before I see any results, I will continue to pray for my kids here.